


those who can't, teach

by thefudge



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Banter, F/M, Season 5 AU, bad at feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:29:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29702682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefudge/pseuds/thefudge
Summary: How on Earth has he become her closest friend in town? (or Jeronica bonding as teachers in Riverdale/S5)
Relationships: Jughead Jones/Veronica Lodge, barchie (mention)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 144





	those who can't, teach

**Author's Note:**

> i mean, i knew i wanted to write a oneshot about them being teachers in riverdale, but i didn't know it would make me feel things. i might add more chapters in the future because i love the idea of them slowly falling in idiot love. yes, they're my idiots <3 hope you enjoy!

She’s sitting in the teachers’ lounge with a P.D. James novel and a large bitter coffee, trying to ignore the fact that her husband keeps texting her about “wasting her potential in Riverdale” (like she doesn’t know), when _he_ plops down next to her in his buttoned down cardigan and crinkly white shirt, glasses sliding precariously down his nose.

Veronica instinctively lowers her own glasses. “Torombolo. How’s the Dead Poets Society going?”

Jughead sketches a weak smile. “If they ever learn to spell their own names, I’ll let you know.”

“That bad?”

“Don’t tell me your class is full of Warren Buffets.”

Veronica snorts. “Let’s hope not. We don’t need more of those.”

“Yeah, well, I’m currently trying to teach them basic reading skills, so…you’re safe,” he replies, and, with a sudden flourish, swipes her coffee away from her and takes a long gulp. He doesn’t seem to mind the dark lipstick marks on the cup.

Veronica raises an eyebrow. “You’re going to get me a fresh one, yes?”

Jughead wipes his mouth. “Sorry. In my defense, I overheard them again.”

Veronica sets down her P.D. James. “Oh.” She feels a very unpleasant, scratchy itch in the back of her throat. It’s almost a gag reflex, at this point.

“Yeah…I honestly never knew Betty could make those sounds.”

Veronica takes out a bottle of water from her purse. “Uh-huh.”

“I mean, it’s none of my business, but it’s still kind of rude, you know? You’d think they’d be more careful around me.”

Veronica shrugs. “Maybe you being there is a sort of turn-on.”

Jughead gives himself a one-over. “Washed-up white guy who can’t iron his shirts? Oh yeah. I can see why they’d think of sex right away.”

Veronica laughs, spilling water on herself in the process. She can’t stop laughing. Jughead has to pat her back to help her keep it down.

He always feels an irrational bout of pleasure when he makes her laugh like that. It almost makes hearing his ex and his childhood friend have the best sex of their lives worth it.

It no longer stings, having Betty and Archie around. It stings a little less, at least, when he’s around Veronica.

“Don’t sell yourself short,” Veronica argues after regaining her composure. “I’m sure the girls in your class are already crushing on the brooding young professor.”

Jughead elbows her with a smirk. “You think I have _brooding young professor_ potential?”

“In spades,” she winks.

He shakes his head with a sigh. “I caught myself in the mirror this morning and almost thought I was an intruder. I look _rough_.”

Veronica waves him off. “Please don’t tell me you’re fishing for compliments.”

“Hey, not all of us can look…like that.” He gestures limply at her pencil skirt and elegant top.

Veronica smiles. “You’re right. But I don’t expect mere mortals to aim that high.”

He throws a pencil at her. “ _Ha_.”

“But you don’t look so bad yourself, Jones,” she says, dodging his throw. “Seriously. The no-beanie policy is really working for you. The glasses are also kind of hot. Hell, if I was in your class, I would probably fantasize about curing your quarter-life crisis.”

Jughead tries not to smile. “Really?”

“Definitely.”

“If I was in _your_ class…I would probably be too intimidated to even look at you,” he confesses with a soft chuckle.

Veronica straightens her back and runs a hand through her dark hair. “Admit it, you’re still too intimidated to look at me.”

“Eh. I can squint.”

She kicks him fondly. She always feels lighter around him, even though, heaven knows, he’s not exactly a cheerful presence. But there’s something soothing and stable about him, something real.

Her phone buzzes.

Jughead sees the name flash on the screen. “Are you gonna answer Mr. Gecko?”

“He can wait. I’m tired of the same old arguments. I _told_ him this teaching stint will take a while.”

“Well…maybe he just misses you.”

“He’s the one who keeps postponing our weekends together. No, he’s just worried that I’m still not over _Archie_. He’s acting extra-jealous about it.”

He snorts. “Wow. And I thought _I_ was living in the past.”

“He thinks I’m going to leave him for my high school boyfriend who repeatedly dumped me for his next-door neighbor.”

Jughead taps his nose. “Makes sense if you’re a very insecure Wall Street broker.”

Veronica smiles. “Maybe you and Chad should switch places.”

Jughead drops his hand. His mouth parts in surprise…and stays parted, awkwardly.

Veronica clears her throat. “I meant – he could be Archie’s roommate in your place, and then he’d hear them having all that steamy sex and – anyway, sorry, dumb joke.”

“No, I – I can see how that would work.”

They sit in silence for a few moments.

Jughead rubs the back of his neck. “I should get you that fresh cup of coffee –”

“You really should.”

He’s only too happy to walk away from that weird moment. Veronica watches him go. Maybe it’s not okay to talk crap about her husband with…Jughead Jones, of all people. Maybe they should avoid some personal topics. But it just feels really natural to sit around and shoot the shit with him. How on Earth has _he_ become her closest friend in town? It probably has something to do with Betty and Archie’s sex tournament.

She’s still thinking about it when Jughead returns with a fresh cup.

“It’s weird,” she muses.

“You’ll _really_ have to narrow it down.” 

Veronica shrugs. “It’s weird where we ended up. I can’t believe I’m sitting next to you in the teachers’ lounge and we are having coffee. We barely spoke to each other back in high school, and now look at us. Like two old biddies feeding pigeons in the park.”

Jughead makes a face. “Why do you have to make it ten times more depressing?”

“Okay fine, like two _Golden Girls_ feeding pigeons in the park.”

“Can we skip the pigeons? They poop everywhere.”

“My point _is_ –”

“I _got_ your point. I guess we were too wrapped up in, well, _Riverdale_ , to have a proper conversation. There was a fresh murder every other Sunday. Even the nuns got involved.”

“Truly godless,” she agrees.

They share a smile.

“It’s still kind of bizarre we didn’t talk more,” he admits, leaning closer. “It _felt_ like we did, because there was the four of us, but…”

“It was just the illusion of group unity,” she finishes for him. “Well, at least now I know you have a thing for Harmony Korine. I’m glad _that_ particular bit of trivia is stuck in my head forever.”

“Scoff all you want, but that man knows how to make trash entertaining.”

“Literally, sometimes.”

“ _Trash Humpers_ is actually pretty avant-garde, all things considered,” he rebuts.

Veronica rolls her eyes. “I can’t believe they have you teaching English with these credentials.”

“It’s Riverdale, Vee-Vee. What did you expect?”

The nickname catches her by surprise. He’s never called her that before. It feels extravagant, but also very quaint.

“Vee-Vee?”

He ducks his head sheepishly. “It sounded better in my head.”

“Hmm. I guess I don’t hate it.”

“Vivica A. Fox?”

She snorts. “Don’t push it.”

The tip of her heel drags against his trouser leg by accident. She hadn’t realized they were sitting so close, tucked into each other.

She shifts away slightly. Jughead makes a show of drawing his feet under his chair.

Free period is almost over anyway.

“Hey,” she starts. “After this whole teaching experiment is over and we go back to our regular uneventful lives, do you think…?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think we’ll still keep in touch?”

Jughead looks at her naked face, all those perfect, unforgiving angles, all that secret warmth.

“You and me?” he asks.

“No, Archie and Betty and their inexhaustible sex drive. Yes, you and me!”

He laughs. For someone so sophisticated and worldly, Veronica is secretly a dork at heart. 

“I mean, I can’t text you by the hour like _Chad_ here…but I will keep pestering you about _Trash Humpers_. If you want me to.”

“I want you to,” she says wryly.

“Me too. I want – I want that too,” he echoes, tripping over his tongue.

It’s not like he’s nervous. It’s not like they’re nervous around each other. It’s just – they didn’t expect to like each other so much. They’re caught off-guard by this little pocket of happiness.

“Good. Then it’s settled,” she says in that commanding tone of voice that signals the end of vulnerability, but not the end of friendship. No, this time they’ll make it stick.

She opens her P.D. James. He flips open his Marlon James.

Neither of them realizes the nice little coincidence. 

"You really think my glasses are hot?" he asks, eyes on the page.

"I said _kind_ of hot. Don't make me regret it."

He smirks. Yeah, he'll do his best. 


End file.
